Oh No! I've been tagged

I wondered when I would be a victim of tagging, well it has finally happened thanks to Lil' Nicky. He recently blogged about memories of primary school and this tag brings back such memories. Does anyone remember some things called "Slam Books" that we passed around for our classmates to sign with categories like favourite girl/girls, favourite guy/guys, favourite food, favourite movies, etc.? Any ex-Patch Primarians out there? :)

1. Total number of films I own on dvd/video: About 30. Thanks to Netflix and Movies on Demand on cable, I just rarely buy movies anymore.

2. The last film I bought: Not sure, lemme name the last one that my hubby bought me (that has to count--two become one and all that)-- Out of Time.

3.The last film I watched: On TV, Breakin' All the Rules (that Morris Chestnut is fiiiiiiiiiine) and movie theatre, Robots (watched this at an IMAX theatre - NICE).

I have to claw and add my own sub-section here; movies I plan on watching soon--like in the next couple of weeks;
at the theatre--Monster-in-Law, Crash and Star Wars.
next four on our Netflix list-- The Final Cut, Shark Tale, Lost in Translation and Spanglish

4.Five films that I watch a lot or that mean a lot to me: aieee, only 5? ok, i'll try...

• Lord of the Rings
• Message in a bottle
  
• Hotel Rwanda (can't watch this a lot but it means a lot to me, I got several people (in a class I was taking at the time it came out) to watch it. Some of them finally began to get on a small level why I got so pissed off during class discussions about the ignorant and/or arrogant and cavalier attitude(s) to war and disaster in Africa. The class was on families and disasters and the Prof. actually gave an optional assignment which many did, to write a reaction paper on the movie.
  
• Four Weddings and a Funeral (my favourite part is the poem that's recited at the funeral, always brings tears to my eyes).
• Real Women have Curves

Ok, I'll stop here but I could have gone on, and on, and on....(remember the energizer bunny)

5. Tag five people and have them put this in their journal: I really didn't enjoy being tagged but I know I have to keep it going.... so I will tag BT, Medusa, Ms. K, Thinker and Akiey. Chako! (Blame Nick for reminding me about chako and for you being tagged)

Home-grown Perverts

I read this on the editorial page of the Daily Nation and was shurprised (shocked and surprised). The individual who wrote the letter claims that tourism/tourists and the internet have led to the deterioration of the social and moral fabric in our society leading to the sexual exploitation of children. The writer speculates that "some perverts" move to Kenya to avoid punishment or restrictions in their home countries.

When I was about 10 years old, I went to the ASK show in Nairobi with one of my older sisters. While we were there I had a go on the bouncing castle-tons of fun. On leaving the castle however, the attendant at the entrance groped my chest, touching one of my bee-sting sized breasts! I hurled an insult at him and ran off to tell my sister, he just laughed at me. Home-grown pervert #1.

A friend of my parents, seperated from his wife for years, once tried to touch me and hug me when we were alone at his house. I remember just moving away from him and trying to act normal but knowing in my gut that there was something very wrong with what he had tried to do. It was the way he acted, nervous and funny. Even as a child I picked up on those weird vibes. Homegrown pervert #2.

Farmgal shared 3 stories of similar experiences back in Kenya. Home-grown perverts #3,4 and 5. I could go on telling and re-telling to prove my point but I think you get the idea. That's why that letter in the Nation irked me so much. I know it was an opinion, and that's just one person, but how many more people have that same attitude?

People want to pretend that the sexual abuse of children is something that tourists-euphemism for white-have brought with them from "their countries" to Kenya. Huh?! Just what we need, a more evolved form of the common "devil made me do it" excuse.

Wake up and smell the arabica and robusta people! We have our own home-made, home-grown Kenyan perverts. Until we are willing to admit that and stop pointing fingers, then the sexual exploitation of children will continue. Doing something about this extremely disturbing problem requires us to to confront the dirty truth-we have perverts among us and they look just like us. They didn't come off a plane, they live in our neighbourhoods, teach in our schools and we trust them with our children.

I am willing to admit that there probably are visitors to Kenya who are perverts with one agenda but I wouldn't say that tourist and pervert are synonymous, far from it. This view just encourages us to continue playing ostrich, burying our heads in the sand, and thinking of this as a problem caused by someone else. We need to take responsibility and find a way to fix this.

Even More Words

OK, I'm busted, I am a word nut. I love Scrabble and any other activity which requires playing with words. So when a friend sent me an e-mail with this list from the Washington Post I had to put it here.

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners:

1. Intaxication (n): Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
2. Reintarnation (adj): Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
3. Bozone (n): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
4. Foreploy (n): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
5. Cashtration (adj): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
6. Giraffiti (adj): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
7. Sarchasm (adj): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. (I LOVE this one!)
8. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
9. Hipatitis (adj): Terminal coolness.
10. Osteopornosis (adj): A degenerate's disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon (adj): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido (n): All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler effect (adj): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic fit (n): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n): Satan in the form of a mosquito, it gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
18. Ignoranus (adj): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

Favourite words not in the dictionary

I found this list and I thought it was hilarious! I think it's a compilation from previous years. This year, the list is:

1. ginormous (adj): bigger than gigantic and bigger than enormous
2. confuzzled (adj): confused and puzzled at the same time
3. woot (interj): an exclamation of joy or excitement
4. chillax (v): chill out/relax, hang out with friends
5. cognitive displaysia (n): the feeling you have before you even leave the house that you are going to forget something and not remember it until you're on the highway
6. gription (n): the purchase gained by friction: "My car needs new tires because the old ones have lost their gription."
7. phonecrastinate (v): to put off answering the phone until caller ID displays the incoming name and number
8. slickery (adj): having a surface that is wet and icy
9. snirt (n): snow that is dirty, often seen by the side of roads and parking lots that have been plowed
10. lingweenie (n): a person incapable of producing neologisms

(http://www.nbc17.com/news/4494431/detail.html)

I'm trying to think of the ones I heard, used or made up with friends in Kenya;

1. errambassed (adj): embarrassed
2. disobellion (n): a shocking combination of disobedience and rebellion (you had to have been there!)
3. (insert swahili word here)-ring (can be a v, n or adj): addition of -ring to swahili words to emphasise a point, for example, "stop wekelearing us"(stop putting the blame on us) or "he was somearing me for being late" (he told me off for being late).
4. riswah (v): used to chastise or rebuke evil or naughty thoughts and actions. For example, Whenever Kamau flirts with me, I laugh and then say, "Riswah! Don't you know I'm a married woman?" Also used to make fun of people who claim to speak in tongues but actually utter jibberish
5. sheathen (n): the feminine of heathen
6. R.S.V.P (n): not French for "please respond", stands for "Rice and Stew Very Plenty" in reference to wedding receptions.
7. clawer (adj): an individual who forces themselves into others lives and plans without invitation, also poxer or jipoxer

Ok, I will stop here, but please feel free to add more to the list. This gave me a good laugh and brought back some good memories. I actually enjoy doing lists, I think I shall do another soon.

Humble Pie

Lord, make my words sweet and tender for tomorrow I may have to eat them.

I don't know who said these words, but did they ever hit the nail on the head! Have you ever been pissed off with someone and you let them know, sparing no feelings, you just let them (and anyone else within earshot) know? I do that sometimes 'cause I'm a yeller. I lose my temper quickly and easily but I never stay angry for long. When I'm mad though, I have learnt that I have a tendency to say things I don't mean. So I have tried to tame my tongue but sometimes it still gets the better of me. This evening wg-k lost the match to the tongue and the object of wrath was my dearest hubby.

I was mad, I was sad, I was overwhelmed...I don't know why I couldn't just explain that. Instead I ranted and raved about everything. The funny thing is, as I was being so unreasonable it was almost like I was watching myself from outside my body. And I did not like what I saw. I was being a complete ass (as in donkey, not derriere).

As soon as I calmed down, I realised how unreasonable I had been. It wasn't that I had no reason to be mad, but I had no reason, or right for that matter, to talk to #1 like that. So we talked and he told me how he felt and I ate my words accompanied by a hulking helping of humble pie.

I love you baby...I'm sorry. Really. I know that I'm sorry isn't enough but I don't know how else to express the regret I feel for acting like that. Forgive me?

Class of 2005

I graduate today and will now "have the power to read" (and to quote Mo1, "and do all that apperdains to this tigiri"). What does the power to read mean? What was I doing since before I started nursery school? Someone should have told me that I didn't have the power then, 'cause really wg-k could not be torn away from her precious Peter and Jane, and that book about Mr. Kamau's bus (what was it called?), Kaka Sungura, The Hare and the Tortoise.... lol. I'm still a book addict and at least that's one addiction that's not harmful to anything except maybe my bank account! (thank God for well stocked libraries and most of all for Amazon.com!)

So anyway, I'm sitting here trying to remember how I felt at my first graduation because this one scares the crap out of me. I'm expected to know more, do more....most of all, I have to get a real job and be like a grown-up and everything. Drat!

I asked myself (yes, I admit that I talk with and to myself often, it's quite enlightening!) why I was so scared about this milestone and I realised why. One word; expectations. I thought initially that I was afraid that others would expect more from me, mum, dad, siblings, hubby, friends... but the only person weighing me down with mega-expectations is wg-k herself. There's nothing wrong with believing in yourself and in your own abilities, but it is a problem if those beliefs and expectations are so great that all they do is exert constant pressure, never allowing any room for mistakes, demanding the absence of any kind of imperfection.

Here's to belief in my own strengths and abilities
Here's to the acceptance of the fact that, gasp, I sometimes might fail
Here's to looking at failure as the flavour that sweetens my next success
Here's to the Class of 2005

wg-k, M.A. (Next is PhD - Permanent Head Damage!)

Self-inflicted injury

The old addage, "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" is one I disagree with, some of my deepest wounds have been caused by the words of others. I'm ashamed to admit this, but I also have wounds which I have inflicted on myself with my words. Beating myself up for a mistake- "you're such an idiot, you should have known better" or chastising myself for wanting dessert- "you're so greedy, it's not like you need to eat any more food." Often I've been cruelest standing naked in front of the mirror; "you have such a huge arse, and those hips!"

I'm sad to say that not a day goes by that I don't hear a woman say stuff like that about herself, her body. "I've put on so much weight, I'm so fat."

Words, are strange things, say them long enough and they take on a life of their own and pretty soon you believe them. And if they're wounding words, then every time they're said, it's like sticking a knife into the gut of a person's self-worth.

I'm done hurting myself with my own words; I will not tear myself down anymore-there are enough people who probably want to do that, they don't need my help.

homage to my hips

these hips are big hips
they need space to
move around in
they don't fit into little
petty places. these hips
are free hips
they don't like to be held back.
these hips have never been enslaved,
they go where they want to go
they do what they want to do.
these hips are mighty hips.
these hips are magic hips.
i have known them
to put a spell on a man and
spin him like a top!

~ Lucille Clifton ~

Mama Nani

I'll be 27 this July and I'm finally at the point in my life where I'm happy with who I am. I love me, I love my life.... One thing has been bothering me lately though; I'm not sure I want children. Don't get me wrong, I love kids, I have nephews and nieces and I love them to pieces (hey, that rhymes!) but I'm not sure that I want to have a child of my own, and become Mama "Nani".

I guess that's one of the things I don't miss about being in Kenya with our families close by. Because by now the pressure would have been on me and my dear hubby to "name" our relas. For now we're safe since we don't see them often and there usually isn't enough time to really get into the subject.

I know it doesn't make me a bad person but there's a part of me that can't help feeling like I'm doing something wrong by saying I don't really think I want a child... Plus, I think if we were to have a baby, I'd want a little girl but the thought that we'd have to name her after my mum-in-law.....eh, that's a post for another day.

About mother's-in-law I will say this, you know those horror stories and stereotypes you hear about? There's no smoke without a fire.

Mummy

It's mother's day this sunday (though really shouldn't it be mother's day all the time?). Where was I? Oh, mother's day this Sunday... So, I borrow this idea to pay tribute to my mother from Afrofeminista.

My mummy

1. still calls me her baby even though I am now married
2. never treated my sisters and my brother any differently, we all cooked, did dishes etc.
   
3. makes all her food from scratch and taught me to do the same.
   
4. taught me to make great tasting fresh pineapple juice from pineapple peels - seriously, like i just said, see #4.
5. has the most amazingly unshakeable faith and trust in God. Maybe one day when I grow up...
6. is great at keeping secrets
7. is a good judge of character - that guy i was so into when i was 18 really was a creep, no wonder she didn't like him!
8. believes the best of most people - until and unless you give her a reason to do otherwise. Refer to # 8.
   
9. is extremely forgiving, no matter how much she's been wronged.
10. has a heart of pure gold-ok,it's not hard and shiny, but you know what I mean.
    
11. always made me my favourite food when I was sick.
12. still makes me my favourite things to eat whenever I go home to visit. Eh, can you tell I like food? :)
13. always puts family first.
14. has made more sacrifices for me than I can count.
15. never expects anything in return for everything she does.
16. is the most dependable person I know.
17. is the most hardworking person I've ever met
18. instilled values in me that have made me who I am today, and I wouldn't trade that for anything.
    
19. is superwoman. Seriously. She juggled all her roles without ever dropping the ball. Plus, she's been married to my dad, with all his quirks for more than 40 years.....need i say more?
    
20. has a great sense of humour, she's great at making me laugh.
21. hasn't put any pressure on me or made any hints about having children in the 3 years I've been married. (which is a lot more than I can say for other people, who are not even family! sheesh!)
    
22. keeps recipes in her head and measures with her eye - forget asking her to write down that recipe for this or the other, she has to show you how to do it.
23. gave me her love for new clothes and shoes!
24. is never embarassed to admit it when she doesn't know something.
25. may not be perfect, but she really is the only one I've got!!
    

Like many women I know, I've had my domez with my mum especially when I was a teenager but as I've gotten older, I've come to appreciate her so much more. To my mum and all the other amazing mums out there....

Mgeni

This is my first blog and my first blog entry. Truly there's a first time for everything. I'm excited but I'm scared. I had all these brilliant (or so I thought) things to say and now they've disappeared. I've been trying to find blog names that weren't already taken for days!! Now I finally found one and my well of inspired thoughts has run dry. Haiya! Nitajikaza kisabuni, my inspiration will return.